Inconvenience

Dear Reader,

Now I played soccer my whole life so breaking bones was always upsetting but it was something I was used to and something that happened but I could just move on..
NOT THIS TIME!!

I had an 18 month old, I was in college and I was a waitress this was the biggest inconvenience of my whole life. I couldn't do anything and NO not because I broke my foot but because I was on crutches AND I was not supposed to be walking at all. I needed Carsen, I really needed Carsen and his family and my family I needed help it was so frustrating. I am a very independent person and not being able to work, or go to school or take care of my own baby was so upsetting.

So the first weekend Carsen took Paxton I was on STRICT bed rest. NO WALKING!! And I must admit Carsen was doing pretty good, a lot better than I had anticipated..

*32 missed calls*

What in the hell? Why would he call me 32 time and how come I didn't get any of them until just now?! FREAK!! 

*Payton Calling*

"Dude, why haven't you answered your phone?"

"Well I was sleeping and my phone wasn't getting any calls until just now, maybe the tower is down?"

"Well I'm going to get Paxton from Carsen's."

"WHAT??!? WHY?"

"He said he started throwing up and stuff and couldn't get ahold of you, and he can't handle it by himself."

"Thank you Payt. I love you."

So they get back to my house and Paxton has puke everywhere. What the heck? My poor baby is sick. But Payton didn't think he was just sick. She had another theory which confirmed to be true...
This is where things got really icky again. I don't really like who Carsen lives with and I don't think that 3 boys keep their house very clean, so I told Carsen that Paxton was no longer go to his house unless things started straightening up. If it's Carsen's it is Paxton's as well and all 3 of them needed to understand that and until then I wasn't going to let him go there and that was was that! Surprisingly Carsen followed the rules I had set really well. But I needed his help more than I thought I would and he started getting annoyed that I was so helpless because honestly I was.

It was so STUPID!!!

Things were going good. My foot got better and things started look up once again. But then tis the season...
I think this might have been the hardest part of all of this divorce. Mine and Carsen's first holiday season apart in 3 years.. and my sons first one with two different homes..
I cried a lot just before Halloween. I mean A LOT... how do I share my baby? How do I help him understand, how do I be strong for him? And Carsen... oh Carsen. I felt so sad for him because I could hear the sadness and confusion about it all in his voice....


Now what?