Not All That Bad

Dear Reader,
I went through my everyday life today and thought what if you think my marriage was ALL bad? What if you think I was unhappy the WHOLE time? I wasn't Reader so DO NOT think this. And with that said I want to tell you guys some of the good. I want you to know about this part. I want you to know what it was like for me to be 17 and married.

Aug  18th 2011
Honey Moon!
We were going on our honeymoon and although we couldn't afford much but I wanted to be "normal" for once in the last 10 months. Was that to much to ask? No.

We went to Downtown Salt Lake, and I was pampered. My husband loved me and I love him; and here Reader I was happy I really was. I got to be newly wed with my husband today. And I'm pretty sure you could tell. Food, a concert, shopping, movies and swimming.

Shopping!

"Hey Manda, I really like this shirt, what do you think?"
"I like it, a lot! Except it looks a little small baby."
"It's stretchy..duh. I'm getting it."
"Okay."
Back at the hotel.

"Uh...Manda??"
*LAUGHTER*
"I told you it'd be small!!"

This was one of my best memories. The shirt was WAY to small and it was from the girl section once we looked at the tag. My husband was funny and that was one thing I loved about him.

Aug 24th 2011
This was my first day of high school. Not only high school, a new high school where I honestly didn't know one person. I was so scared. I knew I would be an outcast. I also knew Paxton would freak in daycare. Such a Mommas Boy Folks. I woke up the morning of my first day of my senior year, crying. I wanted to go back home to Syracuse, I wanted to do my senior year with my friends, with all these kids I've grown up with. But I couldn't so I got up showered go ready and when I went out into the living room of my cute little house, my VERY CARING husband made me breakfast, had the baby ready for school and had a big bouquet of flowers waiting for me in our kitchen.

"Surprise baby."
*tears roll down my face.*
"You'll do great. Everyone will be jealous that you're my wife."

My husband was a very caring man, and cared about the things I was upset about and the things that truly made me sad. He was also very good at surprises, and super cheesy sometimes which was so cute. I loved this about him.

The first snow of the year

It had snowed so much where we lived and it was so exciting. I couldn't even wait to take Paxton out. My son has a very good dad and his dad loved him and he loved me too. Carsen was so good. There was so much snow he shoveled it all by his self and then shoveled the old lady next door.


My husband was a very kind person. He always wanted to help, although he could be lazy he did love helping when he could. I loved when we would do things as a little family, it was always so much fun. Carsen shoveled and Paxton and I played in the snow..well he tried to play but just ate the snow.

 Smartest kid I know. Now Carsen may come off not the brightest crayon in the box. But I'm here to tell you know, Carsen is the smartest person I know, I'll admit it even now. He was so much smarter than me, he was so much smarter than I had ever thought. My husband was a very SMART man, and I loved learning his knowledge. I hope my son gets his dads smarts.


Reader the point of this was so you know that not all things were bad. I was not always unhappy. But this was a reason I left because I was not ALWAYS happy. I am a person who feels that no matter how bad things may be that without a doubt happiness should always be in your marriage. And it wasn't. But I was not always unhappy. Carsen is a great man. He is an amazing daddy to my baby. I wouldn't ask for anyone else to teen parent with. But sometimes things happen and we can only explain them to such an extent and this is where I have to stop.
The point of this was to share memories and to shine light on the person Carsen is. Not a bad husband, but not the right husband for me. And I was not the right wife for him.